Halloween Corvallis Style...

Hello Sunday, for some it's the relaxing day before the next work week, for others it's recovery day to take care of the massive hangover from the night before. For me it's a relaxing day(except for the fact I have to work at 2:30..boo). I'm sitting in my old recliner watching the pouring rain outside my sliding glass door and listening to the sermon from my church back home.
Even though I'm not a religious person necessarily, I believe I am spiritual and am still in search of what I really believe. But listening to Pastor Rick preach gives me a sense of comfort and ease. It's nice to hear the voice of the kind hearted teddy bear of a man back home and to hear encouraging words. It's nice to hear the congregation chiming in and laughing. It's nice to hear familiar sounds of where I'm from.
Friday night I drove up to Independence and carved pumpkins with Jade and Liz. It was super fun and was great to get into the Halloween spirit, plus our pumpkins turned out super cute!

 

 



Last night Jasmine, Joey, Shelby, and I dressed up and went to Corvallis to check out the frats and the house parties, but unfortunately most of the frats were list only and we couldn't find the one to get into. The people who had house parties lined up for us ended up bailing or going to a frat. So in the end we came back to my apartment and just sat around and bs'ed, nothing to special. I was excited to get my first college Halloween experience, so it was kind of a let down. Oh well, there is always next year. At least we looked cute!

Next week is midterms, lucky me. So it's time to kick it into high gear and get my studying on. Till next time bloggers! Have a safe and Happy Halloween! :)

Dreams...

Sometimes the most interesting part of my day is when I lay my head on my pillow at night and drift off...More often than not I drift off into a completely new world. I dream almost every night. When I'm sick I have bizarre dreams, sometimes terrifying dreams. But I am a firm believer in the fact that dreams have an underlying meaning. Back in the beginning of my senior year a friend of mine that was like a second mom to me was killed in a car accident. The weeks following I dreaded sleep because I knew my dreams would replay her in my mind. Sure enough, I had 3 different dreams of me discovering that she was still alive and one other that shook me to my core. I dreamt that I was at the accident with her, I couldn't hear anything, but my muffled screams. There was bright blue, red, and white flashing lights. I could see her lifeless body laying on the cold, hard pavement by a mangled car in the black of night. I tried to run to her, but I was constantly restrained by a paramedic. I screamed and sobbed while constantly saying, "You got to pull through this Trish, for your kids! For me! For everyone! Stay with me!" I will never forget that dream and it still plays through my mind like I just had it. It has been almost two years now and after I went through the initial grieving process, dreams of her faded off...to an extent. Sometimes I would dream of her, but in such a way that I feel like she was communicating with me. I sound crazy and reading this you may think I am, but I will firmly stand by that.
When I dream(depending on the dream) I usually do some research into it. I look for symbolic things, things that really stood out in my dream and what they could me. More often than not, the mean exactly what I am feeling or the symbol directly applies to my life at the moment.
So what brings me on this subject is I had a dream the other night that has been on my mind since. First I will tell you the dream, then tell you the significance of the person in my dream, and then analyze it from my research.

Dream: I dreamt that I was in a desert and standing near a small Toyota pick up truck. There was nothing around except this truck, sand for miles and miles, myself, and a close friend of mine. The wind was blowing hard and blowing the sand at us. But we weren't just standing there, I was clutching him, holding him tight as he sobbed into my chest. I was on the verge of tears myself. I held him and comforted him. I ran my fingers through his hair, the dream was so vivid that I could actually feel his hair and his body leaned into mine. I kept telling him that it was ok and even though it was directly stated I felt almost a sense of love. I never said that I loved him nor did he tell me, but I remember seeing the word. As his sobbing slowed, he looked up at me with that loving look, as if I had just saved him. Then he proceeded to kiss me, then as I laid back onto the ground we started to make out, but then he stopped hovered over me and bowed his head down almost upset again. It ended with that.

Story Behind the Person: I've been friends with this person for a long time. When I first met him, I guess you could say that I fell really hard for him. He never returned the same feelings though, I continued the friendship with him and moved on to the best of my ability because I knew we would never be. I still to this day consider him one of my close friends. By the time I left to move down to Albany I was content with where our friendship was at and how I felt about him. I thought I had finally moved on and I knew moving down here would make that easier on me too. Which it did and it actually improved our communication more. I guess I expected that our friendship would fizzle and that my feels would finally burn out, but I still haven't let go and this dream brought up all those old emotions.

Analysis: There were 7 main symbols for me in this dream: the sandy desert, the pick up, holding/clutching him, wind, stroking his hair, him sobbing, and the kiss.

Sandy desert: To dream that you are walking through a desert signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The desert landscape may also be a metaphor for feeling deserted and left behind. To see sand in your dream signifies a shift in perspective or a change in your attitude. Consider the familiar phrase, "the sands of time" in which it may be suggesting that you are wasting your time or letting time pass you by. 
I believe that the sandy desert applies to the situation because I have been feeling lonely lately and I always felt like I could turn to him when I was lonely or vice versa. I think the sand shows that I am wasting my time with my feelings towards him. Possibly with the two combined it could show I feel at a loss because I know he is moving on and that I am too.

The Pick Up: To see a pick-up truck in your dream represents hard work. You need to return to the basics. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that you need to "pick up".
I think the pick up symbolized me picking him up when he was down.

Holding: To dream that you are holding something suggests that you are trying to control or manipulate this object. Consider the significance and symbolism of this object. Holding may also signify protection, responsibility, or possession.
I think holding him in this sense signified the need I feel to protect him and responsibility for watching over him.

Wind: To dream that the wind is blowing through your hair signifies freedom to express uninhibited feelings. You are "letting your hair down".
I think this represents the new open communication we have developed and I don't feel like I need to hold back so much anymore.

Stroking his Hair: To dream that you are reaching for someones hair suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.
I think this is pretty self explanatory. I've been trying to reach this person on a spiritual and intellectual level for a long time. Same with the protectiveness.

Sobbing: To see someone else crying in your dream may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.
To be honest I'm not really sure about this one. I haven't had the desire or need to cry about this situation or anything about my life at all, so I'm not really sure.

Kiss: To dream of a kiss denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment. If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her. To dream that you are making out with someone suggests that you have an subconscious desire to pursue a relationship, but fear that it will jeopardize the friendship.
Once again, self explanatory.


It's just funny how accurate these tend to turn out. Hopefully this analysis will tame my emotions a little bit. All my dream analysis definitions come from www.dreammoods.com and under the dream dictionary. I do this for all my dreams and very rarely is it ever wrong. Try it out sometime! And no this isn't a product placement and no I am not getting paid to say this unfortunately! ;) And if any of my guy friends happen to read this, don't assume it's about you because I can pretty much guarantee it's not! Haha silly boys...;)

Welcome Fall 2012...

It's official! At least in my book, fall has hit! I walked out my sliding glass door this morning to a crisp chill and fog. I've made plans with Liz and Jade to carve pumpkins soon, which will be so fun! Then before we know it Halloween will be here.
The one fall holiday I really can't wait for is Thanksgiving though. Main reason being that I can go home and finally see my family. I am pretty homesick still. It didn't really hit me until last night when I was browsing through Facebook and saw a picture of my friend's pick-up parked at the 76 station on Southgate and it made me realize how much I miss driving up Southgate and being able to look over and honk if he was there or see if Hannah was working at Starbucks, or if Kate and Jordan were at Subway. I miss driving down Main and the backroads. Oh how I miss the backroads. I miss my mom and I's obnoxious adventures in the car or her and I making my brother uncomfortable with our random conversations. I miss yelling at people on Main. I miss my awkward run in's with the guy I always jokingly swore I was going to marry. I miss being able to sit in Papa Murphy's and bs with the girls until Chey got off. I've been in a mood recently where normally to overcome it I would retreat to the backroads with my country music and just let my mind wander. But unfortunately I don't have that luxury here.
But Albany has definitely been a positive experience for me. Last weekend I went up to Independence and hung out with Jade and Liz which is always a good time. School is going good. I wish I had more time to study and such, but I have been working 35 to 40 hour weeks, which I'm kind of complaining, but kind of not because I'm addicted to the money. It's just a little overwhelming.
Well I should be doing math homework, but I just can't seem to get myself motivated enough to catch up and finding the time has been  a struggle too. Until next time bloggers...

Before you go and turn me on, be sure that you can turn me loose...

What better way to kick off October than to get deep on you bloggers? I have two things I want to talk about today, one being my hometown and the other being love. Two completely different things that kind of tie together.
The past couple of days I have been feeling homesick. Not miserable homesick, but I am definitely missing not only my family and friends, but just Pendleton in general. You don't really realize how much you love Pendleton until you leave. The simplicity of the town, the miles and miles of back roads. It will always be where my heart is. I thought that maybe when I left I would be able to say, "Wow there is so much more that is better than Pendleton out there!" and there is...to a point. Sometimes, especially on days like today I wonder if I should've stayed and finished at BMCC. Which the answer is always no, absolutely not. I can honestly say I haven't been as happy as I am in a long time. But it doesn't have to do with where I am located. The fact that I am on my own and taking care of myself, finding myself, is what is making me as happy as I am. Leaving Pendleton has helped me step out of the shadows of my family members and friends. It has allowed me to be able to come back to town and say "Hey, this is what I am doing with my life and the opportunities that have presented themselves to me after my hard work and perseverance." And that alone, makes me prouder than anything. I don't know if my life will lead me back to Pendleton and if it may then good, but it will be after I am done with everything I want to accomplish with my life and when I am ready to settle down. When I think about what I still want to do with my life before I get married or have kids, it gets me excited.

 

My Before-I-Have-Kids-To-Do-List

1.) Graduate with my Master's in Social Work

2.) Study Abroad

3.) Fall in Love

4.) Get married after the age of 25

5.) Build a house out in the country

6.) Have a stable job before I get married

7.) Buy myself a car after I graduate

8.) Be married for at least 2 years before having kids

9.) Do everything I can possibly do before being strapped down with kids.

 

 

I believe that you have all your life to be with your spouse, so there shouldn't be any reason to rush into marriage or having kids. I want to live and see the world. I want to accomplish anything and everything that I possibly can before I want to be responsible for someone else. I'm not going to lie though, it gets lonely sometimes. As focused as I am on myself right now, sometimes I would really like to focus on someone else. Have someone to go do things with or just to make happy. The idea of falling in love is great, but sometimes I wonder if I will ever experience it? My hope is yes, but I'm not holding my breath. I would love to be able to let someone into my world, take them out on the back roads to my get away places, sneak into the country club at night and go swimming. Someone to be myself around and to know that's why they love me. The security and warmth. It's an absolutely marvelous thing that I wish I could say that I have ever experienced, but unfortunately I haven't. For the time being I'm just up for having fun, being young, and enjoying myself.

Goodbye Summer, Hello School...

Summer 2012 definitely treated me well this year. It almost made it hard to leave Pendleton. My summer consisted a lot of staying out late with friends, parties, and random crap we decided to do. I went night swimming for the first time, I went to the PBR on Fourth of July, hit up my cousin's softball tournament, had a fabulous Ford Family Conference, and road tripped to Corvallis. I spent a lot of good times with some great people and they will be times I will definitely never forget.

Ford Family Conference with Becca!

 



Fourth of July with Cammeron!



Shari's date with Tyson!

Dance Party with Maggie Z!

Grandma, Kas, and I at Kas's softball tournament!

Working at Crystal Peaks with the Ford Family!

Great night with my best girls!

Going away Party!

Hilarious nights at my Bestie's!



Corvallis with my Grandpa!

On Sunday my last day of Summer, I drove up to Portland to see my dad. Saturday night we celebrated his birthday and then Sunday morning we loaded up and headed to my second home, the mountains! I had such a good time with him and getting out of the city for a day. We took the Grizz and the Polaris up around Stevenson, WA. We rode up to a landslide and hiked a little ways into it. We just hit up trail after trail, then we stopped and I got to shoot his 40 caliber Glock, which was a ton of fun! We rode around into a rock quarry full of shale rock. Then on the top section there is a beautiful scenic view of the Columbia and the Bonneville Dam. It's absolutely breathtaking! One of my favorite places by far. The peacefulness and simplicity is what I love about the mountains. It's hard to find a place that isn't peaceful or beautiful up there. We spent most of the day up there and got back around 7:30. I couldn't have asked for a better way to end summer.

Not going to lie, I kinda felt like a badass! ;)

Yesterday was my first day of class. I really love LBCC. It's so much better than BMCC and I feel like I'm on an actual college campus. There are a ton of people and they are mostly my age(Hallelujah)! My professors are all super cool and informal. It gets me really excited to get the ball rolling on this year and hopefully get more involved. I must say the only thing I do miss about BMCC is the Ag people(mostly the guys ;)). But in time I will meet people, just being in a social setting for the time being is enough for me haha!
Well until we meet again, bloggers...Unfortunately it is time for math for me!

Round Up 2012

WOW! That is all I can even say for Round Up 2012. Between Jake Owen, PBR, Rodeo, and all the late nights, the lack of sleep was well worth it!
I rolled into town late Friday night, then got up early Saturday morning and headed down to my old store. As I pulled up I see that they had the truck set up for the float, then I got asked to do the parade with them(um hell yes!). Which also got my asked into working all week at the store(Boooo, but I needed the money).

Then Saturday night I went to the concert with Shelby, Zack, Ashley, Jacob, Patrick, and Justin. Finally got to see Jake Owen<3 It was such a good concert! I would go again and again if I could! After wards we went out to Shelby's and just hung out. Sunday I spent the day in Boardman with my grandparents at the RV Park that they camp host for. It was fun catching up and reliving memories from when I was younger staying down there with them.

Monday I worked all day with Shelby(which is always a fun time). Then Chey and I got together and went and yelled at people on Main. Then we hit up Shari's with Tyson and we got a table right next to the PBR bull riders! ;) I ended up playing DD for a few of my coworkers and stayed out till about 5am.

 Tuesday I opened the store with Shelby again, then scored a ticket to PBR from Allison! So fun and such great rides!! Then I went up to Chey's and hung out with everyone for a while up there.

Wednesday after I got off work, I got ready and Chey and I hit up the Rodeo. It was her first Rodeo and it was a good one! Then we went and walked main street looking at the booths. I found a coffee table down there that I wanted SO bad, but I didn't get paid until the next day, but it was gone the next day :(. Wednesday night we all hung out at Chey's again. I got to catch up with some people that I graduated with which was great!

Thursday, Caden and I hit up the Rodeo. Cain Smith a kid that we both went to school with rode in the Bull Riding section! It was awesome to see someone represent Pendleton that young. That night I went out to Shelby's and hung out with her, Zack, Katelynn, Brooke, and Dukota. Dukota and I grew up together and it was great catching up with him. It's so funny how much we change between elementary school and now! So much fun though! Friday I worked and then went and walked down main with Shelby and Zack. Then we went to Casa Fiesta with Katelynn, Zack's mom and little sister. We had to wait 2 hours for our food! It was insane! Then I went up to Chey's again. Saturday I got up and got a ticket to go to the Rodeo. After wards I walked Main and bought some super cute decorations for my apartment. I headed out to Pilot Rock to hang out with Zack and Shelby, Dukota and Brooke, then Chris and Justin came out. We just sat around and bs'ed. It was by far the best night. Sunday morning my mom and I went out to breakfast to our favorite, Roosters! Yummm! It was then that I hit the road and returned home to Albany. It was definitely a successful Round Up and I can't wait to go back home again! Let 'Er Buck! :) 361 more days until the next one! ;)

On another note my cousin Jeneal and her husband, Justin welcomed their new baby boy into the world!! Yay! Congrats to them!<3

Jace Anthony 7.2lbs, 19 in. Sept. 15, 2012

Bucket List...

YOLO, we've all heard it. It's the acronym that is sweeping our generation. You only live once. It's true, we are given one life to live and that's it. No dress rehearsal, no redo's...The camera is always rolling. From the time you come out of that womb to taking your last breath, it's show time. A lot of times you will hear people ask, "If you had just one day to live what would you do with it?". How about this..."You only have one life to live...What are you going to do with it?". It's the same concept really. I often think long and hard about my life, what I want to do with it, where I want to go, how I got to where I am, who I've encountered among my 19 years, who has taught me the most important lessons in my life. Two of my biggest pet peeves have to do with people and life. The first one being people who view life negatively day after day. To me we should be grateful everyday we get to open our eyes and have another shot at improving ourselves and enjoying the surroundings around us. I'm not going to lie and tell you that I am a happy person 24/7 because I'm not. I've had bad days, I've had bad weeks. I've had times where I never thought that anything would ever get any better, but the reality of it is that it does get better, but moping around about it won't find you that better solution. My second pet peeve is people that tell me about their hopes and dreams for their life, but then do nothing about it. The people that expect that their dreams will be handed to them or the ones who spend so much time looking at the past that the time runs out and by the time they get a foot out of the past, they have let majority of their life slip away. They develop roots in where ever they are, whether that be getting married or having kids. They are strapped and develop more hate and resentment in their hearts for now not only their past, but also their future. Those are your drug addicts, your alcoholics, your domestic violence offenders and victims. The ones who get high to take them away from reality. There is a reason it's called getting high, it's because it lifts you higher than your reality lows, but only for a short time. The ones who drink away their sorrows and fears because the buzz numbs the pain. The ones who take their anger, hate and resentment out on the ones who stay with them because they don't know any other way. The ones who put up with being hit and abused because they think they don't deserve any better. All those people were the ones who had dreams, but took too long to make something of them, or developed roots early on before they were ready. Those are the ones who were told they can't and they believed it. My heart aches for both types of people and in my future and my career I can only hope that I can give some of these people their wings back, to let them fly and make a better life for themselves.
Which brings me to what people refer to as a bucket list. A bucket list being a list of things you want to do before you die. I sat down today and thought long and hard about it. In all honesty as I grow I'm going to find more things that I want to do and I probably won't have enough time for them all, but the show is still on, the camera is still rolling which means I need to keep taking my opportunities and running with them.
But what I want you to know, for those of you reading this, is that you can do anything you set your mind to. Like I have always said, "Your background and circumstances may affect who you are, but you are responsible for who you become". Life doesn't wait for anything or anybody. Now is your time. Find what makes your heart happy and take it and run with it. Don't let anyone or anything hold you back and no excuses. You deserve everything in life you dream of. Nobody should be shorted of that.
With that I have one last question for you bloggers...You have one life to live. What are you going to do with it?

Karlee's Bucket List

 

1.) Travel to another country

2.) Make a difference

3.) Change someone's life for the better

4.) Be a mother

5.) Take my mom to an Ellen Degeneres show

6.) Live in the country

7.) Own chickens and goats

8.) Be healthy(Down 10lbs so far!)

9.) Marry and stay married to my best friend

10.) Give back to the Ford Family Foundation

11.) Stop being so afraid and start living instead

12.) Ride a horse on the beach

13.) Graduate College

14.) Go to Disneyland

15.) Be an inspiration