"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become."

Thursday, October 18, 2012


Sometimes the most interesting part of my day is when I lay my head on my pillow at night and drift off...More often than not I drift off into a completely new world. I dream almost every night. When I'm sick I have bizarre dreams, sometimes terrifying dreams. But I am a firm believer in the fact that dreams have an underlying meaning. Back in the beginning of my senior year a friend of mine that was like a second mom to me was killed in a car accident. The weeks following I dreaded sleep because I knew my dreams would replay her in my mind. Sure enough, I had 3 different dreams of me discovering that she was still alive and one other that shook me to my core. I dreamt that I was at the accident with her, I couldn't hear anything, but my muffled screams. There was bright blue, red, and white flashing lights. I could see her lifeless body laying on the cold, hard pavement by a mangled car in the black of night. I tried to run to her, but I was constantly restrained by a paramedic. I screamed and sobbed while constantly saying, "You got to pull through this Trish, for your kids! For me! For everyone! Stay with me!" I will never forget that dream and it still plays through my mind like I just had it. It has been almost two years now and after I went through the initial grieving process, dreams of her faded off...to an extent. Sometimes I would dream of her, but in such a way that I feel like she was communicating with me. I sound crazy and reading this you may think I am, but I will firmly stand by that.
When I dream(depending on the dream) I usually do some research into it. I look for symbolic things, things that really stood out in my dream and what they could me. More often than not, the mean exactly what I am feeling or the symbol directly applies to my life at the moment.
So what brings me on this subject is I had a dream the other night that has been on my mind since. First I will tell you the dream, then tell you the significance of the person in my dream, and then analyze it from my research.

Dream: I dreamt that I was in a desert and standing near a small Toyota pick up truck. There was nothing around except this truck, sand for miles and miles, myself, and a close friend of mine. The wind was blowing hard and blowing the sand at us. But we weren't just standing there, I was clutching him, holding him tight as he sobbed into my chest. I was on the verge of tears myself. I held him and comforted him. I ran my fingers through his hair, the dream was so vivid that I could actually feel his hair and his body leaned into mine. I kept telling him that it was ok and even though it was directly stated I felt almost a sense of love. I never said that I loved him nor did he tell me, but I remember seeing the word. As his sobbing slowed, he looked up at me with that loving look, as if I had just saved him. Then he proceeded to kiss me, then as I laid back onto the ground we started to make out, but then he stopped hovered over me and bowed his head down almost upset again. It ended with that.

Story Behind the Person: I've been friends with this person for a long time. When I first met him, I guess you could say that I fell really hard for him. He never returned the same feelings though, I continued the friendship with him and moved on to the best of my ability because I knew we would never be. I still to this day consider him one of my close friends. By the time I left to move down to Albany I was content with where our friendship was at and how I felt about him. I thought I had finally moved on and I knew moving down here would make that easier on me too. Which it did and it actually improved our communication more. I guess I expected that our friendship would fizzle and that my feels would finally burn out, but I still haven't let go and this dream brought up all those old emotions.

Analysis: There were 7 main symbols for me in this dream: the sandy desert, the pick up, holding/clutching him, wind, stroking his hair, him sobbing, and the kiss.

Sandy desert: To dream that you are walking through a desert signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The desert landscape may also be a metaphor for feeling deserted and left behind. To see sand in your dream signifies a shift in perspective or a change in your attitude. Consider the familiar phrase, "the sands of time" in which it may be suggesting that you are wasting your time or letting time pass you by. 
I believe that the sandy desert applies to the situation because I have been feeling lonely lately and I always felt like I could turn to him when I was lonely or vice versa. I think the sand shows that I am wasting my time with my feelings towards him. Possibly with the two combined it could show I feel at a loss because I know he is moving on and that I am too.

The Pick Up: To see a pick-up truck in your dream represents hard work. You need to return to the basics. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that you need to "pick up".
I think the pick up symbolized me picking him up when he was down.

Holding: To dream that you are holding something suggests that you are trying to control or manipulate this object. Consider the significance and symbolism of this object. Holding may also signify protection, responsibility, or possession.
I think holding him in this sense signified the need I feel to protect him and responsibility for watching over him.

Wind: To dream that the wind is blowing through your hair signifies freedom to express uninhibited feelings. You are "letting your hair down".
I think this represents the new open communication we have developed and I don't feel like I need to hold back so much anymore.

Stroking his Hair: To dream that you are reaching for someones hair suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.
I think this is pretty self explanatory. I've been trying to reach this person on a spiritual and intellectual level for a long time. Same with the protectiveness.

Sobbing: To see someone else crying in your dream may be a projection of your own feelings onto someone else. If you do not cry in your waking life, then seeing someone else cry may be a little easier to deal with then seeing yourself cry.
To be honest I'm not really sure about this one. I haven't had the desire or need to cry about this situation or anything about my life at all, so I'm not really sure.

Kiss: To dream of a kiss denotes love, affection, tranquility, harmony, and contentment. If you are kissing a close friend, then it represents your respect and adoration for your friend. You are seeking some intimate closeness that is lacking in some waking relationship. It may or may not signify a romantic interest for him or her. To dream that you are making out with someone suggests that you have an subconscious desire to pursue a relationship, but fear that it will jeopardize the friendship.
Once again, self explanatory.

It's just funny how accurate these tend to turn out. Hopefully this analysis will tame my emotions a little bit. All my dream analysis definitions come from www.dreammoods.com and under the dream dictionary. I do this for all my dreams and very rarely is it ever wrong. Try it out sometime! And no this isn't a product placement and no I am not getting paid to say this unfortunately! ;) And if any of my guy friends happen to read this, don't assume it's about you because I can pretty much guarantee it's not! Haha silly boys...;)

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